Sephiroth Meets Smooshy!
by Wintersheart1766
Summary: Sephiroth becomes distracted when Zack Presents him with a cardboard box. An adorably clueless Sephiroth receives the most precious gift he never knew he wanted.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Well I never thought I'd actually write one, but inspiration comes from unexpected places! Hope you enjoy! Wintersheart1766**

General Sephiroth, the most feared and valued member of the most feared and powerful military organization, of the most feared and powerful government, stood motionless and at least six feet away from the average size, ordinary looking, plain cardboard box resting on his bed. The distance he kept was similar to the distance he had kept all day at the office…well from lunch time anyway. That had been when he made the mistake of allowing Zack Fair into his office, thinking the box contained lunch.

Sephiroth had been so distracted by the contents of said box, that for the remainder of the day, well, let's just say that precious little of the paper work from his in basket made it into his out basket. Now Sephiroth would be the first to admit, to himself at least, that he held no real attachment to the mundane and tedious red tape to which he seemed chained, but he also knew that if he were anything, he was a man who got things done and the contents of this box, if he were Superman, was his Kryptonite.

Sephiroth snorted, "Ridiculous, I must be going insane, Kryptonite!"

With a huff Sephiroth marched over to the bed and placing two fingers on the edge of the box, tipped. Tumbling out of the box was a jumble of black and white fur, paws and feet, ears and tail, nose and whiskers.

Being the organized, detail oriented, observant type of man that he was, Sephiroth took inventory of just exactly what was black and what was white. Body mostly black, ears black, nose black, whiskers very elongated and white- Sephiroth paused and reached out to grasp one of the kitten's feet and shook it gently. The foot in question flopped in a rather amusing manner and Sephiroth thought that perhaps Commander Fair's assessment of the appendage had been rather apt. The foot was quite large and completely white whereas the front paws were just tipped with white and noticeably smaller.

Sephiroth shook the foot once more for good measure as the kitten looked up at him with slanted sleepy eyes and offered no complaint. It was then that the most feared and valued member of the most feared and powerful military organization, of the most feared and powerful government, decided to try out the words his commander had used, though Gaia knew he would never do it if there were anyone there who might hear; he looked down upon the small kitten and with its foot still in his grasp, shook and said matter of factly "You've got big bunny feet." The kitten yawned widely and Sephiroth smiled…well, kind of, before repeating "you've got big bunny feet."

The General, feeling more relaxed, sat down on the bed and removed his boots; he had forgotten to take them off at the door as was his custom due to the distraction of the box or rather its contents. The kitten looked at him with a sleepy curiosity and Sephiroth noticed it had two dissimilar patches of white on its upper lip, not unlike a mustache and after a moment of thought he decided the look was rather appealing on the cat.

Sephiroth reached over and placed one finger atop the kitten's head and watched in amazement as the kitten reacted by first flattening its entire body and then finally its head down onto the comforter. Hmmm, maybe that is why Zack had called him that odd name…what was it again? Ah- yes Smooshy. Sephiroth gracefully reclined up against his pillows and stared down at "Smooshy" thinking of the pandemonium that would occur should the kitten ever escape the apartment. Just imagine the most feared and valued member of the most feared and powerful military organization, of the most feared and powerful government, stalking the halls making kissy noises and calling; here Smooshy, Smooshy; here kitty! The Turks would have a field day with that one!

Suddenly, an unfamiliar feeling came over the General and he was helpless to prevent his hand from reaching down and gathering the loose skin at the scruff of the kitten's neck to lift it and bring it closer. That was odd, he thought to himself as he laid the warm furry body upon his exquisite chest. Once again he placed one finger upon its head and watched as the kitten 'deflated', "Smooshy indeed" murmured the General.

Taking of his leather gloves, the increasingly relaxed General smoothed his bare hand over the flat expanse of the kitten's back. Suddenly he felt and heard a vibration and for a moment thought it was an incoming call on his PHS, before spying the devise atop his bedside table. Quirking and eyebrow he ceased stroking the cat, after a few moments the vibrations ceased as well and the kitten lifted its head to consider Sephiroth before, much like a grunt crawling under barbed wire, the kitten crawled on its belly up into the crook of Sephiroth's neck and began noisily sucking on the most feared and valued member of the most feared and powerful military organization, of the most feared and powerful government's earlobe. The vibrations had returned as well.

Sephiroth lay there stunned for a few moments, then snatched up Smooshy and made for his PHS; he hit Zack's number on speed dial and after two or three agonizingly long rings Zack picked up. "Hey Seph! How are you and Smooshy getting along?"

"Zack, I need you to come here at once; I think there is something wrong with Smooshy!"

"Whoa, whoa, what is he sick?"

"I don't know Zack, just get hear as quickly as you can!"

"Okay,okay, just calm down; I'm on my way."

Sephiroth snapped his phone closed and began to pace back and forth; idly stroking the kitten's head and strangely soothed by the now perpetual vibration against his chest.

Not bothering to knock, Zack barreled through Sephiroth's door, skidded to a stop inches from the plate glass window and held out his hands for the kitten which, after some meticulous disengagement from much silver hair, was plopped into his grasp.

Zack took a moment to look the squirming kitten over before saying "Look's just fine to me Seph, what's the problem?"

Sephiroth rolled his eyes and said "Do you not feel that vibration? He is also emitting some sort of noise, not unlike a motor of some kind; I think he is having some sort of mild seizure."

Zack face went totally blank; he carefully returned the kitten to the General and then dissolved into a helpless fit of laughter that eventually had him rolling about on the floor until the General's patience reached its end and he kicked him squarely in the behind. Zack wiped tears of mirth from his eyes and looked up at the General with true fondness. "Don't worry Sephiroth, the vibrations and the sound he makes is called '_purring_' and it just means he likes whatever it is that you are doing, it means that he likes _you_!"

The corners of Sephiroth's mouth quirked slightly upwards as he looked down at the sleepy kitten "Really?" he seemed to ask the kitten for confirmation of the fact. Smooshy gave another wide yawn and clawed his way back up to the General's shoulder and with single minded determination once again began sucking quite loudly upon his earlobe.

Sephiroth froze; then turned back towards his Second in Command and jerked a finger towards the display "What about _this_?" Sephiroth demanded. "You can't tell me this behavior is normal!"

Zack scratched the back of his neck and replied sheepishly "well no, it's not normal per se, but it's not _abnormal _either. It sometimes happens when a kitten loses its mother too soon or isn't properly weaned. See; Smooshy sees you as a surrogate mother and he gains comfort from replicating the act of nursing by suckling your, well in this case, your earlobe. Consider yourself lucky; a lot of kittens who display this tendency will actually suck on your hair."

Sephiroth looked thoughtful. "So this is something I should allow?"

"Well… you don't have too if it bothers you, or it starts to get rough and he hurts you, though being who you are I don't see that as becoming an issue. Do what you feel is right Seph, but just think, not only does Smooshy _like_ you, he likes you enough to think of you as his mama."

Sephiroth scowled at his Lieutenant before thanking him for his quick response and dismissing him. The scowl had actually been hard to muster up considering his entire soul had just lit up like a fireworks display with never before felt waves of joy.

Returning to the comfort of his now not nearly as cold, quiet, or lonely room; he once again gracefully reclined atop his bed, allowing his precious Smooshy to reattach himself to his favored lobe and as he drifted off into a contented sleep the most feared and valued member of the most feared and powerful military organization, of the most feared and powerful government… smiled.

A/N: So there you have it! Smooshy is actually one of my new kittens and he is blessed with each and every one of the adorable traits I included in this story. I just know he And Sephiroth would be perfect for one another…but he's MINE so Sephiroth would have to share! Thanks for reading.

Wintersheart1766


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Hello again! First I'd like to thank all who, with or without my Strong-arming' took time out of your busy lives to read, review and yes, even **_**favorite**_** my very first fanfic Sephiroth Meets Smooshy!**

**Previously I had planned to introduce Smooshy'a sister Lucille, or Lucy, or Lucy Lu in a separate one shot, but it took a bit more of a buildup than I'd anticipated, so it works out better as additional two or three chapters of the original story. Very much hope you enjoy Chapter Two**

Chapter Two Of Sephiroth Meets Smooshy!

Zack's Big Idea!

Sephiroth was always glad when he could once again retreat to his private quarters at the end of another tedious day of paper pushing and dealing with incompetent buffoons masquerading as Shinra executives. The General relished the sound of the lock as it clicked into place and the lack of sound that followed it and gratefully breathed in deeply through his patrician nose, air that smelled not of copy toner, repugnant over applied perfumes or aftershaves, cafeteria slop, halitosis, under arms, or sour coffee, but instead held the aroma of fine leather, musk oil, and a hint of vanilla…although these days there was in all honesty another scent mingled in and it was scent that was decidedly Smooshy.

Sephiroth removed his boots and tried his best 'not to notice' the shredded roll of toilet paper that meandered down the hallway, originating from the guest bathe and ending behind the bar. He took no notice of the way his newspaper, left neatly stacked on his coffee table upon his departure this morning, was now strewn into at least six different locations about the apartment; the most inventive of which, hanging half in and dripping half out of the enormous fish tank he had purchased in hopes that Smooshy might entertain and calm himself gazing at the pretty tropical fishies while he was at work. As Zack was prone to say with regards to one's attempt at something that produces less than favorable results…"FAIL!"

Entering the kitchen, it was only with the barest sense of awareness that Sephiroth felt the crunch of kitty kibbles under his bare feet and using a will forged of mako enhanced steel he rendered the sight of his overturned hamper and its resultant trail of dirty socks and shorts, leading right up and into Smooshy's litter box, completely invisible

Still, much like any materia produced barrier spell, Sephiroth's ability to… overlook Smooshy's short comings was growing weaker and he swiftly left the kitchen and hurled himself none too gracefully onto the couch. A few moments later he could feel the telltale tugs of tiny paws and 'big bunny' feet playing in his hair as it tumbled off the couch and pooled on the rug. Without even opening his eyes Sephiroth reached down, scooped Smooshy up and deposited him onto his chest. After a few strokes Sephiroth regarded the kitten through half opened eye's and inquired "busy day today Smooshy?" To which the kitten voiced a solitary non-committal "mew" before breaking its current 'chest speed record' up Sephiroth's torso in order to latch onto his favored lobe, (Horrendously loud sucking noises ensue) and the 'barrier spell' is instantly restored to full strength once again.

Now, on average, most of Sephiroth's evenings presented themselves in this manner. However, on occasion, the idiocy of both his subordinates and superiors alike and their dependence on him to solve the most trivial of problems, made it necessary for him to defile the sanctity of his home with what was left of the days accursed paper work.

This always annoying, but formerly problem free task had taken on a whole new level in stress production now that one Smooshy the kitten was in residence. It wasn't so bad when he was still permitted to bring Smooshy to the office and they had plenty of time together, but the president forbid Smooshy from accompanying the General to work following the incident where Heidegar imposed upon the General to use his private washroom during a meeting and being that Smooshy was fond of laying on the cool tile floor and the fat bastard was fond of letting himself 'dangle' whilst washing his hands; well let's just say Smooshy found a new toy.

The point being that now with their eight to ten hours of forced separation, Smooshy had transformed into a cat from the planet "look at me! Look at me!" Getting any work done a home was to say the least…difficult when the kitten persisted in stretching out on Sephiroth's keyboard and chewing upon important classified documents. Thankfully, he could always count on Lieutenant Fair to distract Smooshy for the necessary hour or two needed to finish the task.

1st Class SOLDIER Zack Fair stood freshly showered , towel wrapped around hips, singing into his comb some old 80's hair band song "Cherry Pie" whilst adding the requisite gel to his raven locks for that spiked to perfection style every other SOLDIER (but Seph) clearly envied, when he heard his PHS go off.

Scooting into his bedroom at full, off key, vocal volume, he snatched up the devise and abruptly stopped his cheerful caterwauling as the name 'His Royal Sephiness" flashed on the screen. "Oh no, not again!" he wailed. Pressing the receive button Zack spoke through gritted teeth "What is it this time Seph? No, wait; whatever it is I can't help you this time. I've got a date!" Sephiroth frowned, "well how am I to complete this paperwork? Half of which, need I remind you Lieutenant, is most assuredly yours in the first place!" Zack threw his hands up in the air, spun around once and kicked the night table in exasperation; the resultant pain throbbing in his big toe offering up the benefit of a previously unexplored solution to his problem "Hey Seph, how's about a compromise?" "I'm listening" offered the General. "Look, I really do have plans tonight, but my cadet friend Cloud Strife would be a more than acceptable replacement; he's a country boy and an animal lover just like me." Sephiroth paused before inquiring as to whether the boy was going to 'wet himself' in his presence or if he would actually be able to utter an intelligible sentence instead of standing there slack jawed and drooling on himself like most cadet's. Zack chuckled at his superiors rarely displayed dry humor before assuring him that Cloud , though certainly an admirer, was very down to earth, a bit shy, but not prone to any of the afore mentioned displays of idiocy. "Very well then" said the General, seeing as he really had no other choice. "The cadet's should just be finishing up in the dining hall, I will send him a summons." "Oh hey no, don't do that! The kid'll have a coronary not knowing what you want him for. Better I go get him and explain it all, escort him up and make with the introductions, I've got time." "Fine, just see that you are here by 21:00 hours sharp, it wouldn't do to have the boy out past curfew and I'll need at least three hours of his time." "SIR, YES, SIR" Zack bellowed before snapping shut his PHS. Boy Spikey sure was in for a surprise! Zack just hoped Sephiroth wouldn't scare the kid half to death during the course of the evening. Meh, how much damage could the guy really do in three hours' time?

**A/N: Hey just thought I'd mention that I know perfectly well that the name of the "old 80's hair band" is Warrant. My musical tastes have moved on and I'm nowhere near stuck in the 80's like some mullet wearing aqua net addict's, but still, I'm an old broad and this was music from my hay day! Sadly their front man Janie Lane was found dead in his hotel room here in Los Angeles County a week or so ago R.I.P. Janie you will be missed. **

**Also wanted to give credit to whoever the writer/s were for the screenplay "10 Things I Hate About You", Starring the late great actor Heath Ledger and actress Julia Stiles, for the "Planet look at me! Look at me!" line. **


End file.
